Baby mine

My baby girl turns 33 today.  That may or may not feel old to her, and it doesn't seem old at all to me, but in the scheme of things it makes ME feel kind of old.  It shouldn't, because when I turned 33 my mother turned 66 and I'm only 54.  We're practically sisters, really.  R's oldest brother and  youngest sister are 25 years apart, so it's within the realm of possibility.

Except it isn't.  My baby girl is my baby girl, just as my boys are my boys.  I used to think that I would be done parenting when they moved out of the house but I don't know where I got such a stupid idea.  I may be done "parenting" but I'm not done being a parent.  I still worry, rejoice, stress, and empathize just as I did beginning 33 years ago.  My youngest just moved to town, and I can't begin to tell you how hard the past 8 and a half months of his hour-long commutes to work have worried me.  I would say a little prayer every day for his safety, just as I do whenever the weather gets rough and I know any of my kids or their spouses are on the road.  It's like I can't let my guard down.

I look at my grandkids now and I see my children.  I see their mannerisms, expressions, and sometimes their faces.  They say things that remind me of my kids, or even their voices and laughter trigger memories.  I also sometimes see my husband, who I didn't recognize as easily in my kids, probably because I was too close to the view.  Now, a generation removed, I can see things I know he would have said or done and it's fun.  I wish his folks and my dad knew my grandkids, because they would just love them.  Who wouldn't?

I have friends with kids and grandkids and everyone seems to have their own style.  Some are really intense and hands on.  One friend gets phone calls from her kids a couple of times a day....each.  I don't, nor would I want to, but I can appreciate it if that's how that relationship works.  My kids are pretty independent and so am I so we have found a pretty good balance I think.  Even so, I know they'd be here if I needed them, and vice-verse.

Which brings me back to my daughter, turning 33, being a wonderful young woman.  I think she's amazing and if I could be anyone in the world, I'd be her.  I'm lucky she dropped in on us, aren't I?