Lucky in love

We took a small road trip today, and it was confirmed. I am lucky in love but the UNLUCKIEST SLOTS PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF CASINO GAMBLING!


We had gone to visit the small town where my dad grew up, and found his old house, the park where I used to play when we visited my grandma, the cemetery where grandparents and aunts and uncles are buried, and even the old shop where my grandpa was a mechanic before I was born. I even met a shirttail cousin by marriage when we stopped in the public library to look at an exhibit of photos. It was a nice trip, a lovely late summer day, and on the way home R was following behind a pickup truck moving at an achingly slow pace on the two-lane highway. After several miles with no opportunity to pass, I expressed the hope that he would turn into the gas station/casino exit ahead. As the truck began to move into the turning lane, so did R. I said, "No, I was talking about him!" and he said he knew that, but he thought we should make a quick stop at the casino.


I've been hinting we should make a visit to a casino for a couple of years. We have only been a handful of times in the past 20 or so years, as it's one addiction that both of us can easily avoid. I'm too cheap and I don't know what his reasoning is. Also, it's easy to avoid addictions that have only caused you pain and cost you money. In the handful of times we've played the slots, I've only lost money. Only! Lost! Money! My loser limit is $20 (R's is the same, but I have dipped into his $20 in the past only to lose it too). Anyway, I have always thought that maybe I was either underestimating my ability to win or overestimating my propensity to lose. Sure all of the data points that direction, but maybe I just didn't have enough data. Hmmm. Isn't that how gambling addictions draw you in?


So today we stop, he gives me my $20, takes his $20, and the two of us set to it. I look for slots that are named something with good kharma. I like frogs (and there was one in the park's bathroom that I used today!) but none of them involve frogs that I can tell. So I choose one with flames on it (my son-in-law likes flames on things) and one with double diamonds on it (how can that be bad?) and one with the word lucky in it. You get the picture.


I should have found one that said "Knucklehead!" That at least would have been truthful. Well, it didn't go well. I very quickly lost my $20. I moved to at least half a dozen different slots, would occasionally win $1 or maybe even $2 worth of credits, but those went away as quickly as they arrived. My dismal slot history (and future) was verified, confirmed, written in stone. I stink at it.


R went to one machine and after spending only $5 hit for $50. He immediately cashed out. He walked out $45 ahead and I was $20 down so it netted to $25 more than we went in with. Then he gave me the $25 extra. He said I could spend it there if I wanted, but I wanted it in my pocket more than I wanted to return it to the casino. And we all know I'd be returning it to the casino.


So it boils down to I have a guy, married 30 years in November, who gives me $20 to lose, lets me lose it, and then gives me $25 to lose again if I want to. I think it's pretty clear why I won't win at slots, isn't it?


Note: I'm trying this blogger.com site after getting frustrated with blog.com. I haven't had any responses to inquiries from them about problems with the stats generator so we'll see what goes.