So that's how it's gonna be, huh?

Okay, I am either the worst boss ever or there is something else going on. I did a couple employee evaluations a few weeks ago and I did a few more this morning. I was trying to get a feel for how to do them, and that's been hard because I really only supervised the staff for the past month. I had one that I knew would be a challenge, and I saved it until I had a few under my belt. Also, the director wanted me to visit with this particular employee about her attitude and I told him I also wanted to talk to her about her chatting and work avoidance.

Anyhoo, I gave her a fairly good evaluation; actually a better one than my predecessor. I explained my own process but told her that I may revise it as I learn more about my job and the procedures. I went over the items evaluated and explained those that I felt were pretty basic and those where I graded her up. I asked her how she felt about her job and she said she was worried about it. I asked her why (I didn't know if she was worried about losing the job or doing the job) and she said it was just too much. We talked about that a little and I made some suggestions, offering to seek some assistance on the phones so she could focus on some bigger tasks for a few days. I then told her that if we made time for her to work on some of her more difficult tasks, it means she would have to give it her full attention. I said that I understood that we all need to have some time to visit at work but that sometimes her visiting was a little excessive and she would need to watch that. She thanked me for letting her know and for being honest with her.

Sooooooo.....tonight her letter of resignation was on my desk. I was blown away. When the evaluation was over, she seemed in a good place, but now I'm not sure. I went to the director when I discovered the letter after we closed, and told him that I gave what must have been the world's worst evaluation. He was understanding (as far as I know -- it appears I'm not reading people very well...) and told me that he and my old boss had recognized and been expecting her retirement for some time. He told me not to worry about it, but he did ask that I visit with her and just inquire about her thoughts on the matter. He said not to say "Was it something I said?" but rather just ask her to tell me about what brought her to the decision. My god I have a lot to learn!

And of course this is at the end of a long day where I felt like I didn't know squat and sucked at what I did manage to accomplish. May as well get all of the crappiness out the the way at once, huh? I called R before I left the office (an hour and a half late) and told him to have a drink ready. He fixed me a hot chocolate with Bailey's, scrambled me some eggs, and cut up an apple and walnut salad, kept fresh with pineapple juice. I felt lots better after that.

I am just one little girl, trying to do a job. Hanging on by a thread.