Stealing a moment

I'm stealing a moment for myself this morning. R is gone for a bit, picking up water, stopping to have a diagnostic done on his van, and I am alone before my day gets underway. I pulled off sheets and threw threw them into the wash, did dishes, swept the kitchen floor, put away a few stray items, and covered the sofas and chairs in anticipation of a weekend visit from the granddog. I need to get to work on our books, shop books, and find some time to go into the office, but before I do I am stealing a moment. For myself.

My down time has been the biggest casualty of my work schedule right now. Because my work schedule is extended, my home schedule is crowded and my down time is rare. I have lists, tasks, and stacks that accumulate and elevate but rarely evaporate. I feel overly scheduled but not with fun stuff. In fact, when fun stuff crops up, I have to make sure to reconfigure the not-so-fun stuff task list so it still gets done.

The other day, one of our IT people died unexpectedly. I knew him and was working with him on a big project. He was 47, quiet, and pleasant. I don't know how he handled the stress of his job (IT would be particularly stressful I would think) or whether it contributed to his death. I'm still in shock, and those of us left on the project are trying to pick up the pieces and get it done.

A few weeks before, my director was hospitalized with a bleeding ulcer and I ended up having to step up my role on another big project. Stress can certainly exacerbate ulcers, but he believes his daily baby aspirin is what caused it. Either way, the pressure of our work lives can affect our health, which is my complete justification for down time.

So what am I doing to counter the stress? Well, I leave work every day for the lunch hour, come home, and relax. I eat my leftover Chipotle and savor. Sometimes I lie back and close my eyes, breathing deeply. Sometimes I elevate my feet and stretch my ankles. I let the dog out and back in. I talk to the bird.

I read articles online in the evenings, some interesting and informative, some dishy and crap. I look at photos of my kids and grandkids on Facebook and smile, pleased that I don't have to respond or maintain or like or comment. I watch TV but avoid dramas (too intense). Sitcoms, if well-written, are good. Otherwise, HGTV or History Channel. R likes the Food network but I'm just not into it. Doesn't matter -- we're not trying to think or learn here. We're just deflating and recharging.

And finally, when I can steal a moment, I post on my blog. Then when I can steal a few more moments, I look back in my archives and see where I've been and how I've coped. Sometimes it makes me feel good, sometimes a little less so. But my goal is to handle things to the best of my ability so I can keep growing and moving forward, improve my work and my relationships, and find time to enjoy my life. I don't want to leave this world in a stress-induced frenzy. I don't want to look back and wonder why I felt some of the stresses were so important. I want to recognize what is really important and cherish it, and that takes a relaxed brain. For me, it takes down time.

Exhale.