Recharge

I'm sitting in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot spiced cider (instant, but still) and a glass of iced tea and my laptop and my slippers and comfy clothes. I wish I had some chocolate chip cookies (or gingersnaps, or something like that) but that would require work and my sole purpose this weekend is to avoid work at all costs.

You see, my batteries are recharging. If I had a charging meter on my head like the one on my cell phone or my laptop, it would be clear that I am not fully charged but am getting better. This is after the batteries were dangerously low and the warning signs began to flash.

I've been too busy to have time for my required mental health breaks. I told R today that although I really enjoy my job, and my boss's boss told me I am doing an outstanding job, and let's face it, I KNOW I'm doing an outstanding job, I still am missing my four-day work week and it's catching up with me physically and mentally. Why can't I be a high-energy person like I want? Are highly-caffeinated beverages really my only option?

I think I'm getting sick (or rather, I am already sick) probably from all of the stress and work and everything else. I'm telling myself if I'm still sick on Monday I will take off work because it's highly likely that work is what is making me sick. The only concern with that is it puts me behind and then I have to work twice as hard to catch up. Making me sick. Vicious cycle.

Stupid snow is back today. Hate it. First freakin' day of Spring and R had to shovel. Stupid, stupid snow.

We found out this week that our daughter-in-law's pregnancy ended. She was just a couple of months along and had been having trouble, but it's still sad. They'll be okay I'm sure, but tough times are tough times.

R and I talked about losing his brother today which is pretty surreal. How can something like that not feel real? I have no idea. When my own brother died, it was much the same way but I thought it was because I didn't see him often due to distance. This loss has me stumped, but I guess we didn't see this brother that often either. I remember when R and I began to lose our parents, the reality hit home on occasions and holidays when they were no longer with us. Maybe that's what will happen here.

When I think of my own brother, I still see him as his friendly, funny, healthy self. I didn't see him sick and had no idea how much he had changed physically (I think he lost close to a hundred pounds) until after he died. I'm kind of thankful for that, you know? Maybe I'm wrong, but I am.

I just heard the dryer. I must unplug the charger and go do some laundry. Then I'll plug myself back in, this time with a glass of wine. And then maybe a nap.