Acting like an adult

I was super annoyed at my boss (I know, old news) the other day because he ran out of the office at 5:00 and left me to work another hour by myself (for the umpteenth time). I was in a really cranky mood, possibly due to:

1. PMS (that one's up for grabs)
2. Menopause (slightly more possible)
3. Exhaustion from being seriously over worked

I felt like I'd been cranky all day, even at students at times which is not like me. Honest. I finally caught up with the boss and told him I needed help because I've been putting in so many extra hours and am still unable to keep up. He offered to run the processes at night but I know it is something he is just bad at and I didn't want his lack of attention to mess up the students' accounts. I'd be the one who had to fix them later. So I suggested he prepare the morning deposits. He agreed. Then he told me he had been just waiting for me to say something, as a way of explaining why he hadn't been helping all this time.

That REALLY pissed me off. I'm sure it was a PMS-menopause-exhaustion-enhanced kind of anger, but he managed to make the fact that he wasn't helping me sound like my fault. I ranted to a couple of people, my husband, and repeatedly in my head, and then decided I'd better get over it and get busy.

By the next day, I'd cooled off considerably. I had a good night's sleep, was over my screaming headache, and bordered on being reasonable. He was at my desk and I told him it would help a lot if he would prepare deposits for the rest of the month so I can get caught up. He said sure, and then he said he probably should have asked me sooner about whether or not I was overwhelmed.

That went a LONG way towards making me feel better and making him less of an a-hole. I told him that I am not a complainer (blog posts excluded--honest!) and it takes a lot for me to ask for help. I said I realized he was waiting for me to ask and I understood that, but perhaps he needed to be a little more aware. He agreed. The air cleared for both of us.

My boss is really quite a nice guy but he is patently oblivious. He doesn't handle stress well, so I think he doesn't pay attention so he doesn't have to know too much which would add to his stress load. I shouldn't fault him for his coping mechanisms, but occasionally it's tough when I'm the one doing all the work. But at least I was able to talk about my concerns like an adult which is especially important right now since evaluations are coming up. No ulterior motive there!