Fair to middlin'

We have figured out that in our house, there is an equilibrium over which we have no control.  When I was finally able to lose the weight I had gained a couple of years ago, R was probably at his highest weight.  Since then, as he has been working on getting his own weight down, mine has been creeping back up.  I believe there is a combined house weight that we must maintain, and his loss is my gain.

I've tried to determine why this is true, and have a theory.  I think that we are purchasing and cooking the same amount of food as we always did but the distribution shifts.  For example, when I make a side dish and R takes a small portion, I eat the rest (and vice versa).  I don't realize I'm doing this because I don't feel as if my portions are changing, but the shift is probably subtle; and since R's really watching his diet right now that leaves me to take up the slack. 

Being the good and thoughtful wife that I am, I am allowing him to continue to lose weight by eating everything he shouldn't eat.  His health is more at risk than mine, so I'm taking one for the team.  God I'm selfless.

Looking at the bigger picture, life is a lot about equilibrium.  I don't think I've ever been in a place where I wasn't worrying about something or at least one of my family members.  I also don't think I've ever been in a place where I was worrying about everything or most of my family members.  There appears to be some balance there, which keeps me sane for the most part.  Sometimes it slips one direction or another a little bit, but eventually it balances out.  I don't believe I would do well with an overly dramatic or overly pacific life.  I'm pretty lucky I guess.

Work can offer drama, but I appear to have stepped back from that recently.  Good thing too because I've made a rash of stupid mistakes lately, and being in the middle of other drama would just highlight those.  I need to remember the lows when I hit the highs so I don't get too full of myself.  When I'm full of myself I just screw up (self-imposed equalizer) to bring myself back down.  Honestly, how do those people do it who are "on" all of the time?  I would suck at that.

I guess this means I'll never be too thin, too rich, or too famous.  I think I'm okay with that because the opposite is probably also true.  I can live a middling life very happily, within my own personal range of joys and heartache, ups and downs.  I'm a median.  Cool.