Perfect storm

My work world right now is a disaster.  I am trying to do my own work at the busiest time of the year, which would normally keep me working long days.  I am trying to do the work of another person who left during the most difficult month of reconciliations.  I am training myself because there is no one else to do it, and when I am unsure and have questions it never fails that the person I need to visit with is unavailable.  Like on maternity leave.  Or retired.  And just when I thought my head was going to explode, the bank decided to switch things up and change the formatting of the information I need to reconcile the accounts, creating a 158 page bank statement for me to slog through and reconcile against 13,000 lines of data in our system, again during the most difficult month of reconciliations.  And that's just one account.

I am a wreck.  I'm conscientious enough to be giving it my best and worrying about the outcome, and yet I feel as if I'm failing because there is almost no other option.  I have the skills but do not have the information I need to complete anything I've been given to do.  I don't see how this is going to end any way but badly.

I was off on Tuesday on a vacation day that I had scheduled a long time before the perfect storm hit.  I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy and was giddy with the simplicity of those tasks.  I could DO those things and I could COMPLETE them and have a sense of accomplishment.  It was wonderful.  Back at work Wednesday I was smacked down again with too much work and too many interruptions, and that sense of well-being was washed away by the perfect storm.

I'm telling myself that I will get through it and then I'll look back and wonder how I managed.  God I hope so.  I'm on the search committee for the replacement for the position I'm covering and I would seriously hire the first person that comes along if it were up to me. 

I guess that's it for now.  I couldn't sleep and just needed to get up and out of my head for a while.  I don't know if writing helps, but it will at least help me understand what I was going through when I look back.