Every year

Because we have a large extended family, every year we are invited to at least a couple of graduations for students finishing high school, college, or graduate school. We went to a high school graduation today for my youngest niece. I actually hate sitting through the couple of hours to watch one kid cross a stage, but I do it at least for the most convenient ones.

Several years ago, we attended the college graduation of R's brother-in-law. He was graduating from a local university (the one where I work actually) and we left our house to attend on a bright, sunny May afternoon. While we were leaving, our next door neighbors waved to us while they were visiting with his parents who were in town for a brief visit. Later, the neighbor told me that her mother-in-law had asked about us and where we were going, and was told we were heading to the commencement ceremony at the nearby university. Her comment was, "Do they just GO to graduations?" as if it was out of the realm of possibility that we would actually know anyone who was graduating from college so we would attend uninvited. We were, after all, just poor bumpkins who were barely educated (in her eyes).

Every year when I sit at graduations, I think of her comment. It still pisses me off a little, because it is so ludicrous. I've sat at a lot of graduations and I'm sure I'll sit at many more, and it is not something that anyone would just GO to, whether for fun or for a means to hob nob with the better-educated. The ceremonies are boring unless 1. You are the one graduating or 2. Your offspring is the one graduating or 3. Your offspring's offspring is the one graduating.

Her view of us was exceedingly narrow (high-school graduates, low wages) and extraordinarily wrong (hard workers, good parents, goal-setters). R attended some college and put four other people through with his hard work. I finished after 11 long years of night school while raising a family and working three part-time jobs. I also graduated summa cum laude thank you very much. Two of my children have graduated and excel in their field. One has a graduate degree and the other has highly-technical training on specialized equipment. My middle child has completed a large portion of his undergraduate degree and also attended technical school. And I can assure you, none of them would ever assume that anyone would just GO to graduations.

Years ago, the same neighbor whose mother-in-law decided we were poor white trash was introducing us to a friend of hers. She told her friend that we were excellent Trivial Pursuit players (we were) and we usually won "...even through we were only high school graduates." It was not the first time she had made that comment to us but it was probably the first time anyone had called her on it. I'm sure I blanched a little when she said it as often happens when offenses repeat, but I never said anything because I didn't want to create a scene. Her friend called her on the carpet after we left, telling her that was a really rude and demeaning comment even if her intentions were for it to be complimentary. It gives on one hand and takes away with the other.

The neighbor came by later to apologize for what she said because she had never looked at it that way. She explained that her friend had told her it was rude and now she understood and was sorry.

Heck. I knew that even without a college degree. So did R. I guess sometimes intelligence can't be measured with a diploma, G.P.A., or honor. Sometimes, we just KNOW things, even before we just GO to graduations.