Change

I realized tonight that I write entirely too much about my work life and not enough about my actual life. I need to make some observations.

I have made more friends in the past few years than I have in the past 10 or 15. I think that's a remarkable position to be in at age 52, especially when my friends include people older and me and people much younger than me. One of my dearest friends now will turn 30 this month and while I will occasionally play the mom card with her when the situation calls for it, most of the time we laugh and enjoy one another's company like we were in school together.

It's weird when you're visiting with someone and they don't get your references. I'll mention a TV show from my youth and my young friend will have a blank expression on her face. Same goes for her and conversations about The Bachelor or some song I've never heard of.

I have a few very, very good friends that I've had for years and years. Some of them I e-mail or see or talk to on the phone fairly regularly. Some of them I see every year or so and somehow we pick up where we left off. I feel very fortunate to have people in my life with longevity, and I feel if I ever had to go through anything difficult I'd have a pretty good group to rally 'round.

I have a lot of friends who I see casually but who are also wonderful. My bunco group is terrific but only a couple of them are close friends. The rest of them are just fun. We know a little about each other's lives but we know a lot about each other's personalities. If someone is quiet, or funny, or exuberant we know that because of what they bring to the bunco table.

I guess I'm talking about this because I was a different person years ago. I was never a loner, but it was harder for me to make friends than it is now. Is that an age thing? I never loved being a teenager because I was kind of shy and I never felt pretty or like I fit in although I wasn't an outcast by any means. Now, I don't think I'm considered shy but I'm not gregarious either. I think I put myself out there a little better, regardless of how I feel or fit into the situation. I'm more comfortable with myself which is a triumph in anyone's book.

Most of my friends are still women. My husband is certainly my closest friend, but there is very little testosterone in my friend pool. I think that's pretty normal, but I don't think I'd shut out a male friendship if it presented itself. I don't think I would, but who knows.

Okay, that's enough observing. I just had some thoughts that I felt needed to be said. Now we can get back to dishing the dirt.