Lunch therapy

I had lunch yesterday with my replacement at the old law firm.  She and I get together periodically to trade stories and catch up, and she said she was really needing to vent.  Turns out she was having the same old problems with the co-workers that I used to have.  I felt so vindicated.

I told her that I often wondered if my problems with those angry women were of my own making.  Maybe my expectation for how people work and behave were completely out of sync with the real world.  I thought a person should do her best to get along with people she's around for eight hours a day, but there was so much backbiting, infighting, and fire-starting that it wore me down.

Anyhoo, my lunch buddy was having the same issues and was trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.  I told her she couldn't control the angry women, but could only control how she reacted to them (that was a page straight out of my leadership course that is easier to say than do).  I also told her the big boss knew he could count on her to be truthful, to have no agenda, and to do what was best for the firm.  No matter what he was told by the rest of the staff, he would trust her and value her insight.  And while that didn't mean he would always follow her suggestions, she could console herself with the knowledge she did her best and took the high road. 

We both had a good laugh over some of my old stories and some of her new ones, and both of us felt better by the time we had to go back to work.  And the session only cost me a chicken enchilada and iced tea.  Chips and salsa were free.