Fear itself

I don't know if I've said this before, but I read something recently that said don't make decisions based on fear.  That thought stuck with me, and when I was toying with applying for a new position at the university I repeated it to myself (numerous times) so I wouldn't frighten myself out of making a change.  I kept thinking of the responsibilities of the other position that were a challenge for me (presentations, travel, learning an entirely new job) and I'd talk myself down with that bit of wisdom.  At least I hope it was wisdom.

At any rate, I applied and am now waiting to hear.  More difficult than waiting to hear, I'm waiting for the crap to hit the fan in my office.  My boss is going to have a stroke, and as I look at what I do for my office, I am convinced he won't have a clue about understanding it and training a new person.  I've been working on updating instructions for my various tasks, and fortunately I have a habit of documenting processes and procedures anyway so I've laid a lot of the groundwork. 

I'm also concerned about how my boss's boss will react.  He and I have a good working relationship, and I'll struggle if he gets mad at me, but I think he'll understand in the long run.

Looks like I'm fearing the unknown here, but at least I'm not letting it stop me.  It's entirely possible that I won't get the job or even be considered for it, and my office will not find out.  But truthfully it's not probable. I heard from a co-worker (the only one I have told about my decision) that she was asked to be on the search committee.  That means my boss was skipped over (so I wouldn't be black-balled), and so was I (so I could apply) because on paper we would be the more obvious choices from our department since we work more closely with the department advertising the position.  I don't know who they ended up with, but I'm betting I'll soon find out.

Okay, enough.  The weekend is here, I've been sick most of the week, and my plan is to get well.  Now!