O-blivious!

I've always said I'm one of the most unaware people there is. I'm oblivious to so many things. I don't know if it's a lack of curiosity, a lack of focus, or what, but I border on spacey.

People who know me are surprised about that to some extent. The reason is that my work requires a great attention to detail and I'm good at it. My explanation is that I am very focused on what I need to focus on, and I tune out distractions which makes me oblivious to much of what goes on around me.

I've thought a lot about this lately. I wonder if my need for tidiness and orderliness is in part due to not wanting to be distracted with clutter or mess. I've got other things to think about. Hmm.

The reason this came up is that something happened at work that made it clear that I'm kind of out there. Even I didn't know I was so out there, but this confirms it. It was either Monday or Tuesday that I came back from lunch, and there was a zip-lock bag full of a friendship bread starter sitting on my chair at work. Under it were the instructions for maintaining the starter for ten days and then making the bread. I picked it up and said something to the effect of "Hmm. Friendship bread," before I put it into the drawer with my purse so I would remember to bring it home. I said it like a person would say, "Hmm. It's raining," or "Hmm. We're out of milk."

I took the bread home. I kneaded the starter and kind of skimmed the instructions a little. This went on for a couple of days and I didn't think much else about it. I think it was Thursday morning when I realized I hadn't checked on who put the starter on my chair in the first place. I remember thinking when I found it who it probably came from, but I never took the time to investigate or even mention it to anyone. And I certainly hadn't thanked anyone.

Just before lunch on Thursday I remembered to ask the person I suspected about it. She shook her head and said no it wasn't her. I asked if she knew who it was and she said no but I could tell she knew more than she was telling. (Interestingly, I AM tuned in to reactions and can usually read people pretty well.) So I asked the lady whose desk is next to mine. She said it wasn't her, but I could clearly tell she knew something. She wouldn't tell me who, and I asked how was I supposed to figure it out? She told me to check the handwriting on the bag (the date of the starter was written in Sharpie). I wasn't going home for lunch, so I tried to picture the handwriting and thought maybe it belonged to a really sweet co-worker in the neighboring department. She was in our office just after lunch and I asked her if she had left the friendship bread starter on my chair. She just started laughing.

It was her who left it, but the part that made her laugh was how long it took me to even check and see where it came from. Apparently everyone in the office knew about it, and no one could believe my complete lack of curiosity. Even I was a little surprised, but it's really not out of the ordinary for me to do that. She said, "Mary, you are so focused when you work that I can't believe you did that!" I told her that there are certain things I focus on and others I just work around. Once a co-worker had set a little gift bag on my desk at my old job, and I was there half a day before I noticed it. I actually moved it aside so I could better see my computer screen, and I still didn't connect right away!

Sometimes I feel bad because my oblivion might appear more to be ingratitude or insensitivity. It's really not that, I'm just completely unaware. I have so much going on in my head most of the time, it's a wonder I can drive a car. Maybe that's why I don't like to drive. Maybe that's why I like mindless tasks (like crocheting), because it allows me to think of other things while I work.

Okay, so how the heck do I post in my blog? Don't answer that.