Mentor

I got an e-mail from a former co-worker today that was sweet and kind and sad at the same time. She is a dear friend whom I still meet for dinner occasionally. She was thanking me for being a friend and actually called me her mentor. That's a lot of pressure, but for her I'll accept it.

She is probably just over a year away from retirement, but is a single woman with not much available to her to retire on. She has lived, oh, maybe five or six different lives. I don't know how many times she's been married (she's only confessed to two but hinted there were many more) and lived a life of comfort during at least some of those times. That life allowed her to not worry about financial details but did not prepare her for living life on her own. She's been single all of the time I've known her and has managed (with great struggle) to make ends meet. She was working two jobs when I first met her which took a toll on her health. When she finally quit the second, supplemental job, it made her even more dependent on the job at the office we shared which was difficult much of the time because of the people there.

Her skills are limited but her heart is big. Her work ethic is strong too, and she always tries her best. I wish I could find a job for her that would allow her some comfort financially and contentment professionally. I believe good people really deserve good things, and she is a good person. But I can't fix the world.

I was talking with a friend this morning. She is the director of a state professional board, and she was wondering how to fix an issue with her assistant who became upset over a suggestion she made about changing a small process with the daily deposits. She was asking me as an accountant about the validity of the suggestion so she could back it up with facts, but we decided the real issue is that the assistant took the suggestion as a personal affront to her abilities and the way she had been managing the task in the past. This led us to talk about how differently people view their jobs. Her assistant was comfortable with the status quo and took change as a threat and a condemnation of her past performance. My friend and I are constantly striving for efficiencies and clarity in our tasks, and see that as a challenge and a success when we find them and problem solve.

The reason I mention this is I've been lucky in that when I decided I wanted to be something other than a secretary, I took steps to remedy that. I was young enough that I could go to college where it took me a while to decide what to do. I had a goal, but didn't really have a plan. The plan formed along the way, fortunately, and it continues to form. I'm not afraid of change because I can have some effect on it. It sometimes just happens to me, but not always.

This is where I am different from my friend from my old job, and where it's hard for her. She feels stuck with no options, where when I feel stuck, I try and create options. She told me more than once she envied my skills and the fact I had choices. I wish she had more.