Boss(y)

I had a sucky day yesterday. I believe it was menopause/hormonally induced depression, augmented by too much work, too little time, and being a little teed off to boot. I'm really a nice person, especially to co-workers because I feel that it just makes for a better day for everyone if we all behave. But my menopause/hormonally induced depression got the best of me, even though I'm right, right, right.

Here's the down low: I work in an office where the boss and I are the only administrative (salaried) employees. The other four are classified (hourly) and their responsibilities are considerably less involved and skilled. That's okay. I can hang with the best of them. But I do have a little gripe with the hourly workers worrying about when I take my lunch, how long I take, etc. I work late probably four days a week and frequently take short lunches, so I'm not shorting anyone, but the truth is it's none of their damn business if I do. Additionally, some of them feel that I should share in the rotation to cover the phones over lunch when someone is gone. The office needs two people there over lunch, which is easy to manage when three people stagger their lunch hour.

Okay, so yesterday I was beyond swamped. I've ended up with the work of the technical school and our university and I'm one busy dude. I was so busy I was overwhelmed and nearly in tears (hormones had to be responsible for most of that). When one of our cashiers (a good friend) is working and someone is off, she makes sure that the lunches are staggered and I don't have to be called into action. But when she's not there, as she wasn't yesterday, I'm approached by the other cashiers to find out when I'll be taking my lunch so I can cover the phones. That in itself kind of pisses me off because they know how to stagger the lunches and make it work but they only do it if my friend is there.

So yesterday I'm approached to cover during lunch. I was tired. I was swamped. They all knew it. And by the way, their days right now consist of sending personal e-mails and surfing the internet. They are not swamped or remotely busy. So they come to me and I said, "You know, I'm really just too busy today. I honestly don't have time to cover the phones."

Silence.

Then one of them said, "Well, one of us will be here so you won't have to answer too much. We just need two people here."

It was clear they weren't getting it. So I said, probably in a tone, "Fine. Just let me know when to go and I'll go." It was decided that I should go at noon. Of course, I couldn't drop what I was doing and didn't get out until around 12:20. I did return before 1:00 though so the other person could leave at her appointed time. I was pissed.

Deep breath. I know it's petty and childish, but I was crazy busy, and I didn't want to be told by people who do less than half the work I do, whose duties fall under my supervision, and who had a very simple solution at hand, to take a lunch at an appointed time so I could do their job for them. I did not attend college to cover the phones. I was not hired into an administrative position to get put into the rotation for lunch. Snobby? Hell yes.

When I got back from my 35-minute lunch hour, the clerk who first asked to put me in the rotation came to me. I knew it would be a topic of discussion while I was gone, because I just do not get mad and I was clearly perturbed with them. She said they were talking and realized that it was a really busy time for me and they would stagger their lunches the rest of the week (an employee is on vacation) and I could take my lunch when I wanted. I told them thank you, and I apologized for getting upset. I told them I was overwhelmed with work and I really hated how it made me feel, and how cranky it made me. I was hoping that would clear the air. It didn't really. They were all kind of quiet around me the rest of the day and today was only mildly better.

Lesson: With some people, it's difficult to take back a reaction or word or action that you regret. In fact, it's sometimes impossible. I knew this about them, because they can detail every transgression that has ever occurred with anyone in the past. They hold on to them, drench them in preservative, frame them, and hang them on the wall. They become permanent. I have just added to the gallery.